So lately I had quite a few encounters with people who heard some Mate Tales, where I got to feature.
What is a Mate Tale, one may ask?
A Mate Tale, is a nice story mates tell each other about their cheeky ventures. For a better understanding I will point out some particular features of Mate Tales:
- 9 times out of 10 they are told by a male individual. Girls just gossip!
- It always involves an opposite sex (in the case of being a hetero) participant in the story, who’s never around to hear it when the tale’s being told.
- It usually is mostly fictional and only based on couple true facts to make it any believable.
And most importantly:
- It paints the teller of the story as a super macho, every women’s dream man, who can make Megan Fox and Eva Mendes to fight for his attention.
Now I can carry on with letting my rage out in this sophisticated manner of a blog. As I’ve mentioned, lately I was made aware I was/am a character of couple Mate Tales. And it frustrates me. A lot.
So I’m talking to this guy who’s a regular at the bar I work in. He tells me I’ve been out with his mate once and blogged about it straight after the date’s finished. At that point of conversation I got irritated! Why? Cause it’s a big fat Mate Tale!!!
By the sound of the story, the date was so great I couldn’t wait for any longer than 5minutes to blog about it. And he (the guy I went out with) obviously wasn’t as fascinated by me as I was by him, so we only went on that one date.
What doesn’t match?! In the first place, if that big-headed, ignorant t*at would have ever read my blog, he would have known that it’s about guys, that I genuinely wasn’t best impressed with, not about all the prince charmings who, sadly for me, have discarded me. Secondly, it was Mr. #10, the ‘Meh’ type of guy. So even though I did blog about him, it was more than half-year later after we gone out and it definitely wasn’t anything he’d want to brag about.
But there are worse cases…
There’s this guy from uni. We occasionally talk and we’ve been out a few times (three times if I’m being precise). He seems like a clever guy and we share some interests, but I would never look at him as more than a friend and he’s been told about it since we started talking.
So, one time he asked me why I never blogged about him. We’ve been out – was his argument. I explained I only blog about my dates, guys I see more than just friends. I blog about something that had some romantic potential in it, not about my casual catch ups with my male friends. He wasn’t too content with my reply cause he told me he fancies me million times before and even though he was told we’re in a friend zone as many times, it would still be cool to be on my blog. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Rules are rules, man! Even if I set them up myself…
As the time went by I got questioned by our mutual friends whether one blog post or another was about him. No no no, I patiently explained. Being naive, I always thought it’s just other people, who used to create rumours about us, cause they’d see us out together and wouldn’t trust just the body language to prove we’re only friends. But the number of people telling me that we’re romantically involved or being dead surprised that we’re not proper making out or even talking, when we’re out with our friends, has dramatically risen recently. And… dom dom dom … I found out, it was the same guy who I thought was my friend, creating all the rumours. Mate Tale or what?!?!?
Apparently, all this time he was telling people we are occasionally going on dates and by the sound of all the stories we just couldn’t decide where we stand.
Pathetic! That is all I can say…
At least he got this post that is partially about him.. There you go, bud!
There are many more Mate Tales that I’ve heard and been involved throughout the years. But this post is already way over 700 words … Congrats and massive thanks if you’re still reading!
The moral of the story (not being
sexist, but had to differentiate it for M and F as it’s so different for the hero and the heroine of the tale):
Male – mate, stop biggin’ yourself up and rather just be funny and genuine. Stories about shit dates or girls you fancy and cannot get will just prove you’re confident and happy with who you are. And you don’t have to stir sh*t all over the place to convince people you’re cool.
Female – sister, if you ever hear Mate Tale about yourself and I’m well sure you will… don’t get dragged into it. Don’t start running around trying to tell everyone the truth that you’ve never been out with the guy or that he was the one, who acted like an absolute idiot on your date. You’ll never win and people will still gossip.. Rather than that, just walk out with your head high and acting like a lady. Soon everyone will forget all the lies and you will be the one, who came out as the bigger person.