Lucky as I am, even when I don’t take chances to go out with lads I barely know and I just go out to celebrate my girlfriend’s birthday, I tend to attract THE most daft guys at the place.
Once again, I’m gonna be blogging (moaning?) about someone I wasn’t even dating properly. But I just feel like the story needs to be spread, so that us, women, could then say: we’ve said, self-confidence can easily go over the top!
I bet (or I hope..?) most women come to a point in their lives when they are considering whether it’s worth to take the risk of being punched back if they’d punch a stranger who’s acting like a complete douche. Sadly, I face this wonder quite often.
My latest experience of meeting a cause of such query struck me on a night out in Newcastle. We were elegantly celebrating my friend’s birthday, when two smartly dressed lads came over to our table.
I’m not gonna be a stinky liar denying the fact, they looked fit, but you could tell from a distance they had egos bigger than their brains. One of them started talking to the birthday girl and I was the target of the second one. After five minutes of the most dull chat with the lad, my assumption about the size of his brain were proven right and my friend rescued me from being bored to death, asking me whether I’d like to go ladies room with her (bless all women with ability to read body language or simply spot pricks attacking their girlfriends quickly!).
When we came back, the good-looking version of Beavis and Butthead was gone…
They came back after 15 minutes. When girls spotted a bottle of Moet in their hands they started squeaking. The joyful squeaking didn’t last long as they saw the guys are only carrying two glasses. Them douche bags literary, came to our table, opened the bottle, had a sip each, mumbled something about how much fun tonight is and walked off.
I’m gonna stop just there and give you a second to re-live the situation and to deal with your heart attack after realising how much of a morons they were.
Took your time, ready to hear the rest?
To answer your question I’ll tell you that no, they didn’t think it was embarrassing enough and yes, they came back!
After about half an hour, when we’d just dropped the topic how much of a retards the guys were, they came back. Same dick heads, same champagne, same two glasses.
I’m not even sure which made them more pathetic: the fact they popped champagne into our faces and not even shared it with the birthday girl or the fact, they bought a bottle of Moet just to show off and were just carrying it around all night, not letting the drink to fulfil its purpose – get people drunk.
When I was thinking they couldn’t bring any more disgrace on a man’s kind they proved me wrong. Ignoring me obviously being loath to chat, one of the lads still started talking to me. Instead of trying to sound at least a little interested in what me and my girlfriend were talking about he went straight to the point.
Maybe you wanna go back to our hotel together?
While my friend was choking on her drink I got myself together and instead of saying something not too lady-like, I just asked whether he thinks I look like someone who’d be interested in going back to their hotel together.
Just clearing any left doubts about him having any sake mind, he added:
You know, you’d get free breakfast…
That was about it. It was the moment I fell into consideration what would happen if I’d slap him in the face.
Being a true lady I didn’t follow my instincts and left idiot’s face alone. No one knows, that slap I was so tempted to prize him with, might have out-shook the rest of his brains and then he would’ve become just a nice piece of a furniture rather than a human being…
For our all good, lads understood that we’re just a waste of time and we won’t trade commitment-less sex for couple scraped eggs.
Once again, maybe I’m just too conservative and a night in a hotel with two strangers would’ve been just the right thing for me..? I’d probably appreciated it even more after my mouth-watering breakfast..?
Ohh well, I guess I’ll never know.