Your Ex Your Never Knew You Had

Since I successfully managed to share my sad experience with  #5 a. k. a. Mr Not Even A Real Date I thought I can carry on with this topic.

Not as if I’d enjoy slagging off guys that I haven’t even went out with. It’s just some of the lads I’ve come across are such a weirdos, it would be a sin not to tell the world about them.

Mister #6 was the friend of a friend, that you always hope to bump into when you go out. Cute, kind of mysterious and arty, but not in a weird way.
When my friend told me that the friend of hers asked about me, I’ve got exited about possible bump ins even more.

My excitement started fading as a mist after first proper chat with him. Me and my match-maker friend went on a night out and  run into #6 with his mates. We all were having fun night, until he decided to ask me if he could kiss me.
Errrrrm… No thanks!

Every man (at least, those, who don’t fancy being sent directly into freaks’ department) should pay more attention right now:

  • a) If you really like a girl and you see she’s having great time with you, you just kiss her. You don’t ask her to do that. Other wise, you’ll soon find yourself on the freaks train to No Balls island.
  • b) If you were stupid enough to ask her and she said no, you don’t whine about it and you don’t put on a puppy-face, because then you’ll definitely end up with a single ticket.

Sadly for #6, my fabulous blog wasn’t on the world-wide web back then and he couldn’t refer to these intelligent tips. Result, you may ask?! He became the weird friend of a friend, that would make you cross the street when you’d notice him in a distance.

Thanks to mister Murphy, I started bumping into him way more often after that night. When we accidentally met in a club few weeks after, he seemed really glad to see me. Giving me a massive grin and showering me with compliments how good I look, was a tactical manoeuvre, which supposed to prepare me for getting back to “why wouldn’t you kiss me” issue.

Luckily, I am a women, who has a nose and who uses make up; I confess I used the oldest and the most common dodge and went to lu to powder my nose evaluate the level of #6’s freakiness with my girl.
Next time, when he caught me off guard, I was chatting with one lovely guy (in a scale 1 to 10: eight for his potential to become mister #7. From now on I’ll refer to him as ‘potential #7’. Just for convenience and clarity,though. End of the story.). #6 came  over and started telling potential #7, that we were in a relationship for quite a while. Yep, the same friend of a friend, that I’ve seen no more than five times before that night, suddenly became my dearest ex.

At first, I though he was joking and he’s gonna soon cut the c***. But he kept on going, no matter, how convincing I tried to be while telling him that’s not funny. Potential #7, obviously did not get the joke. Neither did I… So we just walked off.

Later on, when I spotted #6 to talking to potential #7, I felt essential need to interrupt. Apparently, while I was out of horizon, #6 managed to actually convince potential #7  that we were in a relationship for quite a while and we just split couple months ago. I went ballistic!

I  asked Mr #6 to explain himself, but he just stood there with a massive stupid grin on his face not saying anything, supposing that he’s really hilarious.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I usually wouldn’t go that mental and cause a drama if random guy would make people think we were together some time ago. But I was really bothered about him making me sound like a liar, cause I told some people, who were there when #6 started bulls***ing, I wasn’t seeing anyone for ages..

Everything almost ended up with a fight, when potential #7 came over and started moaning at #6 about talking shit about me, which he refered to as such a nice girl (score!), and making other people feel stupid cause they would actually buy his crap.

After calming him down and stopping him from punching brainless #6’s physiognomy, I found my friend and asked her if we could leave. After listening to my night’s ventures she told me that she spoke to #6 throughout the night as well. The douche told her that he thinks I’m really hot and he wants to have sex with me… multiple times. I quote: “And then we could think about relationship.”

Darn! I missed it! Missed such a catch…
I really think I missed my one and only chance to have commitment-less sex!
On the other hand, we already been in relationship, which means we had a looooot of sex before…

Well then, I guess it just didn’t work out for us.

I have one word, my friends:


About Paula Stei

PR girl by trade. Would happilly slap anyone claiming PR is not a profession and Lithuania is a part of Russia. Sociable, ambitious, wannabe-mother-of-five.
This entry was posted in Freaks, creeps and other sorts. and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Your Ex Your Never Knew You Had

  1. keksas says:

    No Balls island.:DDD

  2. Unknownbyu says:

    Beauty comes with a price ! What can you do if you are such a delightful person. Boys are building up fantasies about you (imaginary relationships etc.). Who knows, maybe you are already in other man fantasy his wife.

  3. Unknownbyu says:

    No disrespect. My previous message was genuine. I cannot say anything else, I agree. Lies are never a match for elegant truths.

  4. Ugh so true about asking to kiss – thats a competely disgusting and pathetic move, and don’t even get me started on the puppy dog face. UGH!

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